Journaling: Talking to Yourself Without Being Stared At

We all need someone to talk to. Sometimes that person is ourselves.  Journaling—the killer app of the pandemic. What is journaling and why do it? When is it a good idea and when do we need more?  

I learned to journal in third grade. My teacher gave us spiral-bound notebooks of our very own and helped us fill them. He gave us writing assignments and read them. Some of my friends gripped bitterly about having to do it, but to me, it was like an invitation into my own mind—and into the world. After that year ended, I kept writing. Over time, I filled many notebooks. The process was helpful as it wrote, especially when I wrestled with family and internal problems. When it proved most helpful, though, was years later when I finally wrestled with what turned out to be my diagnosis with ADHD. Reading back over years of journals was funny—and sad. I was always, always going. Physically active all day, every day. What was even more obvious was this undefined issue I had with follow-through. I was (and am) a mad goal-setter and list maker. Over and over I would create these huge, elaborate lists and set goals to get them done.  Inevitably, a few months later, I would be writing about how my plans had gone mysteriously awry. Not only did my journaling help me provide evidence to help in my diagnosis, but it also provided a powerful lens for looking at how my ADHD had side-tracked and short-changed my efforts for years, even decades.

I cannot emphasize enough how valuable journaling is and can be. But I can try. It is one of the s most powerful tools anyone has for getting outside of one’s head in order to see the contents and process of one’s mind. 

Why Does Journaling Matter?

Metacognition—the awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes (Oxford English Dictionary), is what truly distinguishes humans, not only from the rest of the species on Earth, but also from earlier versions of ourselves. Humans may have had a greater ability to learn from their environment than most other species, but when we became able to take a step back from that learning and actively choose a specific behavior, then we gained power over our own destiny. All that we have accomplished in terms of civilization has come about as a result of inserting choice between stimulus and behavior. 

Choice = Metacognition

Journaling is a manual form of exercising metacognition. In this respect, to be clear, I am referring specifically to writing reflections about oneself and others: thoughts, feelings, hypotheses, sticky bits of gossip. I am not talking about simply describing the activities of the day, though you could certainly argue that such an activity could be interpreted (i.e. acted upon metacognitively) by the self or others to infer regarding choices made, feelings and thoughts revealed. 

What I am more directly talking about here about keeping a journal has to do with the intention to write about oneself in order to gain a better understanding about one’s behaviors, thoughts and feelings. That type of journaling, can, does and has changed us and our world.  

One of my most successful clients had also had a long history of journaling prior to coming to see me. We used her journal entries, at first those she wrote as part of homework from our sessions. Later, she began to go back through past journals to identify specific sources for trauma, challenge and patterns of behavior really only visible by reviewing her past writings.

There is no single right or wrong way to journal, but there are techniques for increasing the utility of your journaling in helping you to gain perspective, to self-soothe and to hold oneself accountable. 

Let’s talk about those useful elements of journaling. 

Stream of Consciousness (SoC): this technique is like raising a dam and letting the water flow. You sit down with the intention to write, and you write—whatever comes to mind. No editing. As little stopping or raising of the pen (or fingers from keyboard). DO NOT step back and reflect on what you are writing, nor judge it. Don’t erase, don’t cross out. Just write. Usually for an established time. Most productive, I have found is thirty minutes. With practice, fifteen. In the beginning, the mind, the self, will balk at this activity. You might sit without a single thought to write, or start to write and stop yourself (pre-editing). Once you’ve experienced the benefit of SoC, your mind will crave it, your unconscious will want to shove you aside to spill. Then, you will likely find fifteen minutes enough—or not. I don’t artificially decide to stop this process when it’s flowing. I just get out of the way and let it go until it is done or my hand gives out. Hint- this technique is enhanced, especially as you begin doing it, by meditating ahead of time to “awaken” the unconscious and prepare the conscious mind for letting go. Nothing fancy. Could just be a minute sitting still with your eyes closed repeating something like, “Relax, release.” An affirmation/permission can also be helpful. Maybe, “It’s okay to just write,” “or “Let’s see what I have to say to myself today.” For some, the writing is enough to provide a sense of relief from tension or stress. For some, it is too difficult to read what we’ve written. That’s okay. The writing IS the release. But for many, the writing is a springboard allowing them to dive deeper into their own mind. 

Feeling Journal: this technique was originally developed by cognitive-behavioral therapists (CBT) as part of the completion of a behavioral analysis. The most common techniques involve logging frequency-intensity-duration dimensions of feelings, thoughts and/or behaviors. The format used much of the time is an antecedent-behavior-consequence model (ABC). The logging of feelings is connected to observable behaviors and the response of the person and/or others to the person of focus’ initial behavior. Cognitively-focused therapists quite frequently ask their client to record each instance of a target feeling state, including the intensity of that feeling—typically using a 1-10 scale of intensity. The journaling is highly structured. It’s use is dictated by cognitive-behavioral theory. 

Journaling Therapy: According to the Center for Journal Therapy, it is the “the purposeful and intentional use of reflective writing to further mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health and wellness.”

In journaling therapy, the act of writing is central to the process. Conventional “talk therapy” in the session is guided by writing the client does before and between sessions. The therapist may give specific cues or assignments to focus on the work. In addition, the client is encouraged to write about the therapy process—response to the therapist’s interpretations, and response to the client’s own experiences in the session.

Therapeutic journaling is the process of writing down our thoughts and feelings about our personal experiences. This kind of private reflection allows us to sort through events that have occurred and problems that we may be struggling with. It allows us to come to a deeper understanding about ourselves, with a different perspective on these difficulties. Therapeutic journaling differs from more traditional diary writing, which involves recording the details of daily events. In contrast, therapeutic journaling is an internal process of using the written word to express the full range of emotions, reactions and perceptions we have related to difficult, upsetting, or traumatic life events. Along the way, this can mean writing ourselves to better emotional and physical health and a greater sense of well-being. 

In individuals who have experienced a traumatic or extremely stressful event, expressive writing can have a significant healing effect. In fact, participants in a study who wrote about their most traumatic experiences for 15 minutes, four days in a row, experienced better health outcomes up to four months later (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005).

Conclusion

The joke used to be, “You’re not crazy if you talk to yourself, only if you answer yourself.” That’s no joke, it’s actually a prescription. Talk to yourself. Answer yourself. It helps. Maybe even better when you do it in writing.

Change feels hard. When we journal we get a chance to see how we change without noticing, and how we stay the same. Write out what’s in your mind. It can help you and it can help a helper help you too.